Secret Settings On My Boyfriend’s Phone | Wild ‘Til 9 Episode 53

i barely believe in love now that lorax is over but like i got over it [Music] making content is an essential part of what we do to keep this show going but it hasn’t always been a seamless creative process canva pro is a design platform that empowers you to create and share stunning content in just a few clicks you can be a design pro like lauren or be new to the content creation world like me but canva pro makes it easy and fun my absolute favorite feature is the content scheduler you can schedule content to post to eight different social media platforms it really helps me remember to post my graphics for merge and new episodes with life getting busier and busier this feature is a lifesaver design like a pro with canva pro right now you can get a free 45-day extended trial when you use my promo code just go to wild to get a free 45 extended day trial that’s that’s a great deal that’s a good deal that’s a good deal that’s a deal that’s c a n v a dot m e slash wild canva dot me slash wild hi guys welcome back to the podcast um welcome back to uh the original the original house i’m sorry that i’m not running this week the episode was so good and i had so much fomo because it was so cute and so fun um so hopefully it’s okay that it’s uh it’s it’s me back in this side of the podcast on this side of the microphone today welcome back to wild until nine i missed you guys i was here last week but i still missed you right you know it almost felt like the comments and the response actually it felt like i was releasing a new podcast it genuinely felt like that because it was like people are like oh my god this is so new and exciting even though it was like the same stuff for the most part it was just like people this is so different and and expected but not expected but like my favorite part where the comments are people were like i never really understood the dynamic between remy and jeremy’s like friendship and now i do i was like okay that’s cute it was super cute comics were super cute and i’m super excited to do an asian girl squad episode next time that you go out of town too it’s uh it’s gonna be fun i’m excited i would like you to fill every week with somebody new and fun and exciting and just make sure that my name check address you know where to find me but bring in the most interesting people i want you to run the views up i see i see i see so where where do you come in as talent there do you know how to set these cameras up no no here i am talented um i see honestly that’s a value add that is a value add for sure that’s a value add so like what would i do well i told you the thumbnail the thumbnail i’m not going to make that even though you were off last week you had to do that yeah so like you know there’s still jobs okay that makes sense yeah is it okay that you’re just never gonna be on the podcast again no that we each have our own little individual jobs unless you don’t want me to be on the pod are you kicking me off the podcast you kicked yourself with a podcast you just said that you want me to just do all guests every time and get the views up and you just have to set up the cameras up to be fair who would you replace me with if you had to if i had to yeah i mean probably remy after seeing how good last week’s episode was i don’t know why you wouldn’t though what because there there’s two ways that goes one it’s as good and people are like oh i miss jeremy and like their dynamic and everything or two it wasn’t as good as the chemistry remy and i had and then you’d just be self-conscious about it i mean yeah yeah so like you can’t remember the remy also too remy has so many funny stories but you only have enough funny stories for one podcast what do you mean like she’s got pretty basic like she can’t she can’t tell all her funny stories on both podcasts i mean i think i’m always shocked at how how much and how little crossover there are of everything that’s true yeah that’s true um and also you know like when you tell a story and you’re like i looked like the best part like you know as long as they’re getting the warm-ups over there and the real-time like oh so you want i went prime time here are you on prime time here yeah they just got to youtube yesterday we’ve been here we have been here yeah they they schooled us about two and a half years earlier though on the audience yeah they got a big old head start yeah big old head start i’m excited to see their studio in person yeah oh yeah it’s amazing it looks like a little spaceship like like a girly glowy neon spaceship it looks like what um i moved into when i moved in here a girly glowy spaceship uh i would say there’s just like a little more sleek and modern i was just like i was a little more boho girl confused confused definitely confused confused boho confused i actually just watched alicia’s video where she too was eradicating the boho from her house and i was like oh [ __ ] we all been there we all been there i didn’t really have a boho [ __ ] stage to be honest but maybe it’s to come maybe it’s still to come i missed you i missed you spoof you’re um you’re cute in a distance a a um a distance relationship that has a beginning in the middle of an end on it i don’t know what you’d be like in an open ending um like distance relationship but you were very cute for like 10 days that’s so nice by the way you communicated i was like oh i miss her really yeah really yes really starting to less and less but yes initially yes it was cute i feel like we did a good a decent job at like communicating enough like i’m not someone who when i go on a trip or something needs to be talking or wants to be talking at all hours of the day like one i’m on vacation spending time my family so like i don’t want to be glued to my phone and also too like you got [ __ ] to do you have a job even j.o.b i would love to just sit there and refresh the phone but i guess if you have other things to do i get it well i’ll never forget that when we first met you used to text me back within seconds within seconds so for anyone who you know works in nine to five i have like a spaceship setup of going back to spaceships i have like three or four at all times monitors i mean it looks like i work in like i’m like just like constantly trading like trading stocks right and i have to every monitor up i just don’t like minimizing things because the moment i minimize i don’t open it back up i do a new tab new tab new tab and then my computer’s like stop opening new browsers right anyway so in my one of my windows is my my comms window which is my slack which is my my imessage which is my my whatsapp which is my like business whatsapp i have all the things in like one little corner okay and so i would literally just like as notifications come back in i would just just smack him i would just hit him hit him hit him so lauren would just be like oh my god that’s great yeah it is what do you want to do tonight um and like two minutes later she would respond and i just like on my keyboard not even typing it out right so i was efficient super efficient and then and then you date for over two years and then you become not part of the priority comms window are you talking about yourself yeah lauren you are my priority communication i’m the only one that you communicate with lauren i want you to tell me right now the cutest thing that you ever found on my phone oh my god you guys i can’t believe we haven’t talked about this oh my god other girls are like you’ll never guess what i found on my boyfriend’s phone and you can you’ll never guess what i found on my boyfriend’s phone so um i opened jeremy’s phone for whatever reason and and i want to be very clear we have like a very like oh yeah yeah i was gonna say i feel like that sounded sketchy when i was like i opened his phone um she opened my phone because she needed to use it or something like there was a reason no no like very like oh wait we might as well just not have passwords on our phones share a phone do you think it’s okay for couples to uh think it’s okay to be able to like not go through the other person’s phone but like the i like the phone if you need to make a call if you need to look something up or whatever and mine was closer to you like the idea of like oh i can’t open this phone because it’s somebody else’s that just feels weird because it’s someone else yeah i mean i think no i’m saying like it would be it would feel weird if you didn’t think you could open my phone oh yeah i mean i think just like out of like privacy like i would look for my phone first because also like i don’t know where your [ __ ] is you know i mean like everyone’s apps are all organized differently and stuff and like i don’t like your work calls like it’s one time the word calls me out and like one time i clicked a linkedin notification by accident on jeremy’s phone and it it did something that it wasn’t supposed to no it just it alerts that person then so like this person was like hey jeremy we’d love to get 10 minutes on your calendar to pitch you on this new idea to be great and be on my mind like you know this is like a classic delete alert like not blocked but just like silence forever like i don’t want this person and i don’t want this person to even like i don’t want to go i have no interest in them even knowing whether i got it or not that i just want them to go away okay but like the missing piece here hang on hang on the missing piece here is that jeremy’s strategically chooses that when you click on someone’s profile it tells you that he viewed your profile whereas like my linkedin i have it all anonymous and i pay so that i can lurk on someone without them knowing and so like i was just wait wait wait i was just shocked that for someone who like uses linkedin to the extent that you do that you would use it in that way it just seems so counterintuitive and like i don’t understand and i understand that’s your process it’s your strategy but it was very foreign to me and so anyways then we went and viewed and notified ted baker that jeremy michael lewis had viewed his profile true or false here we go do you have a burner instagram account to creep on people when you don’t want them to know that you’re looking at their stories yeah a burner a burner jeremy lewis linkedin is not a burner totally totally exactly and do you also not care sometimes when you do look at people’s stories from my own account yeah yeah right similarly to that when someone like hits me and i don’t want to know that i’m looking at their [ __ ] i don’t want them to know so i don’t click on it but i do want them on linkedin in particular to see when i do look at their stuff because i’m in sales and i’m probably selling [ __ ] something and i want them to know that i’m looking and i’m interested i’m involved and whatever the [ __ ] that they’re doing so there’s a method to this weird magic i know something it’s your strat it’s your process but then yeah but then you like you basically like left my like calling card on this like this you know what i did i i went i went to the door-to-door salesman’s house and i left my number that’s what you did that’s you that’s what you did for me and i actually can’t remember if that person hit me back or not but i was very distressed i remember like no i know it’s very stressful so that’s like that’s the most horror story that i have from opening jeremy’s phone is like the very stressful moment when jeremy alex broke up every girl here is like all right ted baker’s profile ted baker i’m just kidding i’m just making it up right the london designer yeah the british out of london um yeah no uh that’s um if that’s the worst i think you’re doing okay but yeah yeah yeah yeah i will say the new the the new um company corporate security a little more pretty good it was a little more uptight pretty pretty intense yeah it’s a little bit uptight yeah so anyways back to the story is that um i opened jeremy’s phone for whatever reason and i saw that i was the only pinned conversation at the top of the messages app and a small loving tear formed in my eye no what you didn’t cry for [ __ ] you go [Applause] that’s so nice you did say that you definitely said that yeah because those are so nice and like also jeremy really doesn’t talk to anyone like most people i feel like text me to get to you what i talk to like 250 people a day no but yeah like as your job and that’s why you don’t want to talk to like other normal people i’m out of talking yeah you’re out of talking so i’m saying like your family and our social circle they text me to get to you right yeah and so like it makes sense that i’m your only pin cause my notifications are on her name’s lauren i don’t know think about it sign up for that think about it only the people that are really close to me are gonna be like oh i’ll go to lauren so that i can get to jeremy so that way i’ve already put the buffer out there am i the buffer um in in this instance you are the buffer yeah and i appreciate you i’ve pinned you i’ve put you as my literal one and only priority on my imessage i texted you two moose pictures today and you didn’t respond you didn’t even give them a thumbs up no because i was saving them for tonight to give you a response in person that’s some [ __ ] big fat pile of hot [ __ ] it was the egg that one was cute the egg i sent you a picture of bobby’s looking like a big old egg yeah and i gotta respond so even being the only pin conversation anyway so when lauren’s not making it so that i’m the least anonymous person in the world on linkedin um she’s my only pin dye message and that is so nice that is the end of that story it seemed to get started we’ll segue now um i genuinely have no idea how did we get there i don’t know i have no idea this is also just like a we we have no itinerary for this uh for this oh i do what the [ __ ] oh yeah oh great all right but what’s next boo oh wait i’m gonna get through all the we need to get the banter first where we happen okay i got some [ __ ] housekeeping yeah i’ve got housekeeping with you and for you okay yeah oh my god okay go go for it what’s next tell me what’s next i want you to tell me what your favorite part about the roomie podcast was um my favorite part was when she revealed um she revealed what she got me for my birthday oh and so i got myself into a little situation because i was texting remy as i was listening to the podcast like the draft before like three days before it went up and i was like reacting to some of the funny things that were happening and she didn’t realize that like she didn’t remember that she had like told the podcast what she got me for my birthday and i thought that she just put two and two together and i started panicking being like oh my god i just she knows and listen to the podcast she said what she’s getting me for my birthday in the podcast and meanwhile we didn’t we don’t remember what started that last conversation but we assumed that people were remembering every single topic that we talked about long conversation like obviously no [ __ ] didn’t remember that she had said that and so i started spiraling though and i’m not spiraling that’s really dramatic but i was you know in my dramatic way i was like oh my god like i should just tell her that like i found out so i don’t have to lie when she gives me the president so it’s not like like i want to be honest and then i don’t want to have to be like oh like i actually heard this on the podcast but thank you so much and so um you run the surprise i ruined the surprise yeah but i will say is that she said that you ruined the surprise because you told her that i wouldn’t see it until the podcast came out i didn’t literally with and of course i like was i sent you the entire pocket i was like i think this entire thing is good i don’t think it’s right like and of course that was the case but what if you’d watch it and like oh i wish you wouldn’t said that right right unfortunately that didn’t happen right so anyways remy’s getting me to squish mellow and i’m so excited i think i know which one it is but she said that she she’s like i had um this like thought in the back of my head that maybe you would listen to it so i didn’t tell you and i didn’t mention it on the podcast which smash smash mellow squish mellow i got you that’s the um generic smith pillow smoosh mellow that’s the knock off yeah yeah it’s a knockoff making content is an essential part of what we do to keep this show going but it hasn’t always been a seamless creative process keeping up with our while till 9 instagram can be a little taxing on top of everything else going on making extra content to keep it running can be stressful at times but canva pro has helped make it so much easier and i can do it from anywhere on any device canva pro is a design platform that empowers you to create and share stunning content in just a few clicks you can be a design pro like lauren or be new to the content creation world like me but canva pro makes it easy and fun choose from thousands of professionally made templates that are easy to customize with simple drag and drop features or start from scratch my absolute favorite feature is the content scheduler you can schedule content opposed to eight different social media platforms it really helps me remember to post my graphics for merge and new episodes with life getting busier and busier this feature is a lifesaver designed like a pro with canva pro right now you can get a free 45-day extended trial when you use my promo code just go to wild to get a free 45 extended day trial that’s that’s a great deal that’s a good deal that’s a good deal that’s a deal that’s c a n v a dot m e wild canva dot me slash wild is something standing in the way of you living your best life when i’m not at my best it feels impossible to accomplish literally anything when life gets too busy but i want to take care of my mental health a better help is there better help is a safe and private online environment that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist and help you start living a better life better help is not a crisis line it’s not self-help it’s professional counseling done securely online you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions and if you don’t have time for that because we know how busy life can get then you can message your counselor at any time plus betterhelp is committed to making great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed the flexibility around being able to change counselors is truly so incredible i’ve changed a few times until i found the right person and it makes a huge difference and i know getting help is often out of the budget for a lot of people but better help is more affordable than traditional therapy and they even offer financial aid so many people have been using better help that they are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states we want utilities to start living your best life and as a listener you’ll get 10 off your first month by visiting our sponsor at wt9 join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health again that’s betterhelp wt9 um no but there were so many cute parts that was that was like just that one had more of like a story to it because then i i segued into my own little spiral yes true um but i mean i think i think the disney music video was the real was the real star of the episode one of the many hits she’s a content machine she really is also i think that um the tillies have really taken over the comment section of one disney love medley and two the disney wow what a theme yeah what a theme we are really pumping money into disney do you remember any disney sponsorships no you know what’s fun about disney i will say disney has paid me a pretty penny in the past for brand deal so i’m trying to remember time i’ve ever made any money on disney [Music] well okay well okay i’ve sold contracts to disney i went to tokyo on disney’s budget yes like once again you you win so i hope you feel good um about the thing that i would love to to be involved with in any capacity i tried to take you to tokyo you did i really did and then a worldwide pandemic came and said not for you i’m obviously not supposed to go to tokyo is that what you think no i we know mia she’s going to take us she’s going to be our tour i know i’m really stressed though so i am working through my like green card yes visa situation um because i’m currently on we’ve talked about this like an entertainer visa and no no no no not the entertainment oh here we go we’ve already had this conversation go ahead i was a person of extraordinary um ego no that’s you okay uh was that person what extraordinary ability yeah or something like that something like that yeah but it was like something like that but i think it’s like perfect and then like um literally you’re making me uncomfortable just even talking about it’s the milf visa it’s no it’s the um it’s the milky way yes yes yes yeah um did your mom say anything about that caption that i wrote no she didn’t see gaylord and mackey was the only reason i almost didn’t hit send on that caption because you didn’t want her to know that you think that i’ll be a milf yeah more or less yeah that’s exactly why yeah that makes sense um i just it’s weird when you know like yeah there’s only so many people in the world that i like like oh i actually don’t want you to see that that joke it’s a joke it’s not not serious right it’s a joke but it’s not a joke i would i mean if all things work out ideally you would it’s not a joke have milky attributes milf-like tendencies yeah they’re like tendencies yeah tendencies yeah um so you know there was something i want to say okay wait go back go back so we had we had milf we had remy we had disney oh oh the green card so when you file an adjustment of status to go from the visa to the green card i get stuck in the states for three to six months oh and so i’m just trying to strategically plan when i would like my stuck period to be um stuck porn got it yeah well i feel like that was one of our early conversations on the podcast also oh my god happy one year anniversary to wow till nine wildton entrance one wild till nine turn one that’s fantastic this is like turn one plus one or two episodes lauren on the count of three i want to tell everyone at home and we didn’t plan this how much money you and i have made in the last year how much how much rich are we already one two three zero dollars okay no but give that context though give that context we literally what’s so great about okay kidding getting kidding plenty of money coming in we’re running a a a cash positive business profitable or yeah and the best part about it is we’ve like started cutting the checks to some startups that like of people that we know that are working in and around the audio entertainment space we’re starting to work with bigger companies from our bigger bigger companies is [ __ ] cool this is becoming like a really fun project now that it’s cash flow positive so what i was actually referring to is that we um i was like so that’s nerdy’s [ __ ] all really really nice and true okay there are seven percent of my business majors out there hi ladies yeah we’re here right so i also do think that the business majors that would be excited to know that like we are cash positive and we have revenue flowing the the balance sheet is looking pretty nice yeah you want to walk hop into the ebitda no i don’t want to hop into the ebitda so we’re saying zero because we have not withdrawn anymore we haven’t we haven’t profited but the business itself like you know profit and loss so like lauren and jeremy have not personally profited but right swipe but entertainment yeah right quite well yes exactly so the money is sitting in the account we just haven’t made any withdrawals we haven’t realized income we haven’t realized withdrawals we haven’t realized any income um because people are going to be like how have you done 19 ads an episode and you do italian india was like i don’t think so i listen to 47 ads and you guys didn’t do a fun transition beforehand and you didn’t and i know that you have made more than zero dollars we did make one two dollars we did make one zero dollars um also merge question one i’m designing a really really cute varsity sweater that i’m excited about um let me know what color you’re vibing with um are you asking me no no no i’m asking the tilly’s cool yeah asking to leave let me know what color you’re vibing with i definitely want to go with like neutrals for sharks i think that’s like the vibe i’m kind of thinking like maybe um since we always like have burgundy thinking like gray white and burgundy yeah a little maroon actually really yeah oh that just i was burgundy i got it right yeah the maroon that’s the color on the waltz online hoodie the first one oh great maroon burgundy yeah like a merlot um like uh uh okay yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah i’m also gonna design some trucker hats because i think that we can do them like print on demand so we don’t have to commit to like a large amount because i know that i did a poll on instagram and it said like 50 50 people are into trucker hats i’m on the 50 that is obsessed with them right now so i want to design myself a trucker hat basically you know we can do this you could just do it yourself and you don’t have to wow you could do it yourself that’s adorable um you don’t have to force it you don’t have to force a photo shoot on me so that you can do a trigger oh no no no don’t worry you won’t be part of the photo shot it’s okay can you do that photo shoot that um that picture i think you’ve kendall jenner i was like you would look hot wearing this exact thing hmm she was wearing a trucker hat she was very trigger hat i love a trucker hat a bikini yeah she was yeah she was your butt cheeks would look so nice they they would look pretty nice they okay we the for the for our audio listeners we have jeremy’s hands grasping at buddy cheeks in the air good luck caption person um yeah i do so is that a yes the people would look right raise your comment below no but seriously think about how much better the sales would be oh if you the buddy cheek photo i thought yeah i was lost if you were wearing a trucker hat yeah all but a shoestring on for a bathing suit that thing would [ __ ] sell yeah sex sells baby yeah yeah um so anyway a third merged question is the blanket’s been ready like the blanket’s ready to go so just like let us know you could probably inventory downstairs that would be fantastic we have nine of them we don’t have nine of them we have three lauren i i would bet we have three and the first two are like versions one and two that were not good i would bet like moose’s missing testicles that we have at least four okay we do have four i just remembered that our newest shipment of approved blankets came with two okay so we’ve got two new ones well remy not gonna loan some merch as well we’ve got an old an old one can you imagine if robin i launched merch that’d be actually pretty cute it’d be adorable yeah be pretty cute um so anyways back on the merge subject uh trigger hat coming order print on demand order on demand or whatever are you sure are we like that far back down the line with logistics i am yeah all right trucker hat is coming trucker hat is coming varsity let me know for vibing with um some gray white and burgundy and then blanket let me know when you want it because she is ready shout out chris vaccarino and felicia over fan joy yes our favorites our seriously absolutely [ __ ] favorites they’re fantastic that’s awesome am i up now you’re up okay got it i actually um so i feel like every and this is going to be so wildly gender stereotypical and i want to make that very clear that i’m okay um but i feel like this is your disclaimer like disclaimer i’m about to be um genderist genderous yes i don’t know i don’t think it’s a thing i don’t think it’s a thing but maybe it is but there’s probably a better word for it well i’m sure it’s firefighter all of you oh my god we literally i listening to that back and reading the comments i was screaming at us you know what sometimes we’re little sleepers sleepers we get a little we get a little comfortable we’re not thinking clearly yeah so you know if you want us to be rigid but firefighter was right it was so bad it was so bad yes firefighters were idiots you don’t know what we’re talking about please consider yourself lucky genuinely genuinely we got a case of dum-dums so embarrassing so you’re being generous go ahead so i’m being generous yeah so i feel like when um you’re in a heterosexual relationship and uh the girl leaves for vacation or whatever or goes on like a little trip oh i know where this is going and comes home you it’s just like you you’re preparing yourself to come home to a war zone of just like fast food did like uh dishes no there’s not dishes no because there were no dishes because he ordered fast food the entire time and laundry and socks everywhere and like the trash just like strewn about the kitchen like i feel like a lot of women just prepared themselves to come home to a war zone they prepare to come like home to like they’re terrible too who they have to play mom to because they act like a child yes yeah yes they’re man child of a boy i don’t know why i’m embarrassed while you’re talking about what you’re about to talk about because i know where this is going i know you know where this is going but i still now i feel like i might be odd man out right i see i am you should you should be excited about that okay go ahead and again this is so goddamn stereotypical and i i i’m so you’re about to lose some like sympathy and empathy from people when you finish the story well i know i think people are gonna be really excited about it no i know like sympathy for what like if you’ve ever come i’ll time in when you’re okay okay so yeah i feel like girls go on trips and they come home and expect a war zone and um jeremy made it very clear while i was gone that he was doing some mass organization some mega purging and some mega tidying and i feel like the one thing that jeremy and i both do not thrive at is that when one of us starts getting messy the other person lets things go and then the other person lets things go and then the other person lets them go a little bit farther yeah there’s nothing more contagious in this house than just like clutter yeah when one person becomes uh and i don’t i i i’d like to think at least my from my side it comes from a i’m not being vindictive like well if you’re gonna be messy i’m gonna be messy it’s like oh well also it’s here like when i’m in a hurry i see it’s already a mess yes i could you know touch things once um gail’s like words like truly ring oh my god same through my house every day when something hasn’t been touched once it needs to be touched again yeah it’s not my fault and you’ve just cluttered an area i don’t i guess i don’t feel bad about not keeping it clean so i’m just like oh i’ll throw it over here right because it’s already not clean and we have too many things clothes food choose whatever it is yeah we have too many for us both to be unorganized yes for ten days straight yes yes you can finish that thought now i’m sorry okay um a ramble so you know i told you while you were right that you were doing some mass organization he also pulled two all-nighters which is still like now i’m like okay you obviously are not a functioning human while i’m gone in some ways you were a highly functioning human like but like exceeding expectations yeah as far as like output goes yeah things accomplished right but as far as um basic human necessities being mets not so great anyway not so great so you came back so i’m gonna go um like funny thing really good thing funny thing really good thing okay and by funny i mean that sometimes it may be poking a little bit of fun at you so just i just wanna first hear on module nine right um you know if you wanna dish it you gotta go ahead lauren so i was aware that there was like a mass purge going on in the household and i’m someone who wants to keep everything because i might need it i might need it sometime and i have a really hard time partying with things like i i use a very specific tupperware for every time that i make muffins and i need that type of wear it’s my favorite one and it’s the only one that fits 12.Tubberware yeah [Music] and so i get a little nervous when jeremy starts like or just purging without me there but i i think in that moment i was like this is this is going to be good for me this is healthy this is lauren’s a pack i’m a back rat i’m gonna say what is it i’m saying what it is and i don’t know where that came from because i don’t feel like your parents are pack rats oh my god my mom is the biggest it’s my dad my name is like i don’t want to use the word hoarder because like it’s he’s not obviously an actual hoarder like you’ve ever seen the show too you see like hoarders right it’s not like that like we don’t have a single room that’s like packed to the brim or whatever comma but he just like likes to keep things like he’s got like old hockey magazines and race car magazines that he really likes and he’s got like favorite hats so and and so i think that not that like he fostered that in me but like my mom is crazy minimalist and doesn’t want anything and my dad and i like things yeah i um lauren to your credit it does come from a good place but like we live in a rather large home square footage-wise for two people uh-huh and we’re out of space we’re out of space and that’s okay but we also run three businesses out of this household totally and i guess the only thing i would say is that while you were gone and i was popping open a few things that feel really full and like there’s no more space we don’t need nor can we ever use any of this [ __ ] again ever thrown away and so i did like what actually don’t even tell me don’t even tell me throughout because i don’t want to know because i probably won’t even notice because i probably even know i assure you you will not notice yeah i know that’s what i mean so don’t even tell me what you threw i did have a mini little um uh heart attack when i thought that jeremy threw out my um uh my round parchment paper uh bases for the um the air fryer because i was like oh man like he doesn’t know what that is like they’re for they for sure didn’t make the cut they got purged but they were there no faith no faith i just i i know that if that’s going to get done i’m going to do it the purge yeah yeah also in like yeah and going and finding like your um your little zip up like container things that have been washed 1464 times they’re like shedding plastic into our food reduce reuse and recycle totally and i’m gonna get some glass for us to to wash a little glass is just so scary because i smashed so many things in the kitchen i know yeah i know but yeah the kitchen was in the best shape that it has ever been in terms of the organization and the new fun tupperware’s and uh pan stacking uh devices and um just overall organization of most of the drawers next time you go to town i’m throwing a rager and i’m just going to destroy everything i’ll bounce it up like this was every again genders this was every girl’s dream to come home too yeah every girl’s dream and and you know what i i would have preferred to like maybe have half of the kitchen organized and the other half you could have used to like actually log some hours of sleep for like the essential health of your body like i for sure would have traded those off because as much as i love the kitchen i also love when you um take care of your body but i am very excited about our newly organized kitchen you’re welcome you you went um um what’s what’s the uh the netflix organization purge lady um anna that doesn’t sound right uh it’s like does it does it spark joy oh oh oh oh god i had it it was fleeting though it was fleeting i’m not sure but all the things that were in that kitchen uh condo marie condo right yeah there’s a tough moment in there uh yeah i’m maria you’re marie i think it’s marie i’m maria condo is it i’m jeremy condon i am a boy i think it’s marie condo yeah because i’ve seen her line in like kohl’s and target now i think okay yeah marie condo yes yes yes yes i’m recondo i’m mark condo nice to meet you jeremy condo mark condo realtor does that that’s like a realtor’s name it does sound like a real name so anyway that’s what i did while lauren was gone um but next time i’m gonna just dive face-first into a plate of uh just [ __ ] juvenile delinquency mm-hmm because i really can’t be a juvenile delinquent anymore because it’s not a juvenile yeah he’s gonna say it’s just delinquency yeah yeah i think that i have the same ring to it well anyway i don’t see the next time you’re you’re in town for the next like six months anyway so right right right i don’t know we’ll just mess it all up again and like the funny slash cute things that that did happen in the last 10 days um on the flip side of the mass marie condoing of the kitchen is that i um we have like a security gate around the house and all of our phones in the household get a notification when the doorbell rings and around meal time every single day for every single meal i get the doorbell notification and like the the latency of like being in the middle of nowhere in canada like is obviously you say latency [Music] yeah it’s like i couldn’t actually like load to see each and every poster too slow to to see like what they were dropping off and what jeremy was eating for his newest meal but i could i could always tell when there was a meal arriving at our household based on um kind of you know the the time that what if i you know when i got the good morning text and kind of when you were eating your next meal right i will say that um and i won’t mention any names because none of them sponsored this podcast but i did not cook a meal or go to the grocery store in 10 days but i ate every meal so i’ll let you do that i’ll let you do that math i would love to know how much that ended up costing over the last of the last 10 days yeah you know what my time was important yeah and i got a lot done yeah and my body is like eat a [ __ ] salad yeah you eat it eat a grape or something yeah grape um okay so i woke up really early that so i had jeremy came and picked me up from the airport um kind of like late on sunday and so monday morning i woke up like pretty early waiting for her she didn’t eat a bite of it but it’s okay i honestly so nice and i love you so much it was literally the sweetest gesture when i got off a plane because i like feel like i’m already dehydrated from it being a travel day all i want is like water and fruit and like light and like i just sodium is like the last thing i want when i get off i get it like an acai bowl sounds like a [ __ ] dream getting out of there you have one by lax for the drive through but no it was it was so nice we did get we did moose got a fry though and he really enjoyed it so that’s it made it all worth it um so anyway i woke up really early on monday cause i was kind of like on east coast time and i was like oh it’s like i’ll just go grab groceries while jeremy’s still asleep because like we really have nothing and i was like perfect like i’m starving i’m so hungry so i was on a weird eating schedule all day because you go back three hours flying back to the west coast and so i woke up and i was starving and like when i’m hungry like there’s just no world where anything is being accomplished in a timely or happy fashion until i eat food can confirm can confirm i’m a hangry [ __ ] you’re not not a hanger as nice as you are when you’re not hungry like the world is the world is shambles it’s not good it’s ending soon yes ending soon for everyone yes yes yes uh so anyway so i was like before i go to the grocery store like i’m gonna have to eat something and also going to the grocery store when you’re hungry is just like a very dangerous situation to put yourself in it’s not it’s not something you want to remove so i went downstairs and i was like okay like there’s i mean because go have breakfast and so we had expired eggs a lot of them um so not an option um jeremy ate my last greek yogurt at some point um so we didn’t have that uh which is like a go-to for breakfast for me we didn’t have any milk we did have a little bit of dry cereal but i had no milk um and have been opened lauren’s way for right you know three months now yeah so it’s as if like maximum like surface area for air is exposed just enter the cereal box and um i was like oh no worries like when a loaf of bread is like about to go bad i just like stick it in the freezer because if you just like put it in the toaster it just like comes back to life and i was like we always have frozen bread gone frozen bread completely gone like i probably could have the closest thing to a meal would have been a couple frozen peas and maybe a cracker from the cupboard and i would be scared that we used those frozen peas for like an injury like when i got hit in the face the tennis ball like that’s probably the last time the frozen peas made it out of the fridge yeah made of the freezer yeah so i at 6 30 in the morning was eating this greek yogurt-ish based mint chocolate chip popsicle snack because i was like oh my god i was like okay well it has 10 grams of protein because it’s greek yogurt but it’s 6 30 and like i am eating a literal mint chocolate chip dessert right now as protein because there is not a morsel of food in this house i’m just saying there’s an app for that and would have fixed it very quickly not that quickly everybody in like 45 minutes i started timing them to get here at 6am i’m not kidding i set it for 6am and like this one time it must have had a glitch and like shut up like 3 30 in the morning i’m like i don’t know you guys were open there what yesterday was it mcdonald’s might have been yes i feel like that’s the one place that’s like they’ll show up in 20 minutes at any time of the day anytime anytime um so yeah missed uh mistia missed ya glad you had fun in canada yeah i am i brought home so many canadian snacks i want to do a video i i don’t want to do a video i am doing a video um this coming week with asian girl squad this is not a promo reel okay we’re gonna have my friends on diy try all my favorite canadian snacks um i ate by the way what what i have not been offered a single snack yeah so on thursday you can eat a snack okay yeah okay yeah i got they have birthday cake timbit from tim horton’s cereal and it’s just a lot of sugar oh my god you’re saying that as if we don’t eat like lucky charms and cinnamon toast crunch and like all the delicious sugary cereals though like just add one more box to the to the pantry that i can make stale right yeah with chip clips sitting on the side on the side like or like kind of no no no yeah like well like it’s like touching the plastic down like but or just clipped onto the basket that it’s sitting into right yeah right these are the conversations that you have when you’ve won been together for two and a half years and two didn’t socialize for a year and a half and only live with each other yeah so look forward to that single kings and queens um i am distraught oh over what lauren i’m so glad you asked i’m distraught over something that we have witnessed this week okay was you watching the finale to our favorite show that we watched together um and real quick what show dave lauren you were in canada you left for two weeks ten days might as well been two weeks ten days yeah after nine days i forget you even existed i i just woke up and i was like look at this like house that i live in by myself wonderful dog let’s just keep anyway point is i’m distraught over dave wait wait we’ll come back to dave also i can’t believe that that all came together like that actually talk about david then i have something i want to say afterwards go ahead go ahead i’m just trying about dave i too i’m distraught about it why you just thought about it well okay so real quick dave on fx we watched on hulu but anyway the point is for people that aren’t watching the show that dave lil dicky is on it i don’t know if you’re gonna get this but you will get this i’m so embarrassingly attached to the relationship that they created in that show yes i’ve cried more watching that relationship fall apart than i have really the last nine months the only time i’ve seen jeremy cry at any kind of media is one men in black three and i mean if you don’t cry at the end you don’t have feelings is men in black three and the relationship in dave in season two dave and ally yeah david falling apart yeah it’s that song is that song oh my god i’m not getting last night at about 1 32 in the morning i woke up and i was like man it really sucks they just don’t feel like they’re ever gonna get back together healthy and if they did get back together wouldn’t be healthy because she has a different relationship no she’s happy and he seems like pretty good and then i realized i realized myself i am doing that thing that we hate when people do to us and which that which they have done to us in the past and i’m like i am i am i’m completely making somebody else’s relationship i’m i’m consumed by it instead of a real relationship okay okay but i just want i just want to put a pin in this real quick to say that like that’s a fictional relationship and ours is a real relationship i have a clap back but yeah go ahead oh i know it was real to you what with dave and ally yeah yeah yeah no i just i think my clap back was that there’s um some story lines in the real world that sometimes get uh uh um uh who words they get uh um dramaticized i see yeah yes i don’t know it’s a word but i think so dramatized yeah i would i wouldn’t want to spell it in a spelling bee but like i think it’s i don’t want to spell much in spanish anymore yes seriously yeah and the point is i’m in love with with their love yeah it fell apart i’m not over it yet jeremy genuinely woke up and so i wake up every morning and i remember all my dreams and it’s like a really weird thing that happens every day and i roll over i’m like babe you will not believe what i dreamed about and jeremy doesn’t remember his dreams ever and he woke up this morning being like all i dreamt about last night was dave and ally you know what it is it’s the company to me and this is a thing that like i’m not like um oh god what’s the word synesthetic synesthesia when you can see colors through music i don’t have time oh i don’t know but when i have a memory attached to a song when i when i find out or i discover a memory or a thing that like i like when i when i realize or like witness something and i also am learning or feeling that song at the same time i will remember that forever oh yeah it’s the music do you get goosebumps from music yeah yeah i some people don’t that’s i have like two very specific anxiety related songs that like are are good memories but also like bad luck so like what’s like this is so where does it love by black eyed peas no and wonderball i do love wonderwall that is one of my all-time favorite songs but and real quick where is the love by black eyed peas not quite in the top 10.No not quite really not in the top 10 no okay weird but okay i don’t know okay but so like there’s like a few songs that i would always use as like my go-to stop being anxious song and they it’s just one is like 15 years old and one is like a year old and they still both like carry the same weight of like um the brevity sure they carry no yeah yeah what is it if you want to use a different word no no yeah they’re just like they’re the two like strongest emotion carrying anxiety related words songs songs songs well said i’m just thinking okay so okay but you get that right yeah and the problem is i’ve got this the song that they put it it’s in my head it’s literally it’s ingrained in me no it’s a few chords it’s not even the whole song they do a genius job about it they like they also shift it towards like the rhythm too so it’s like it’s just two diminished chords and it’s like oh my god anyway long story short i am i’m doing that thing that i hate that people do in real life and i i’m i’m being i’m realizing just how attached i am to a thing that i should not be attached to okay i’m attached to it i’m sorry i’m in love with their love i don’t care if it’s real i think it’s great that’s okay that’s all that’s okay that’s all i have okay that’s it that’s it that’s it i think that that is totally okay but now that i’m um here my point is and what i want to get to is do you have any real world couples that you feel like you have an attachment to oh absolutely blake lively and ryan reynolds that is that is my number one yeah 100 i i think if we were to have the best luck in the world and everything were to go right for us yeah between now and forever we could get one-tenth of the way there i would be satisfied with 120th i’d be elated yeah elated absolutely i just feel like and i’m sure they have their their days but like i am so unhealthily like attached to what i think their relationship must be like if it turns out i just think that they’re they’re like they have to be laughing they have to every single moment of the day what if they’re not how sad would you be but i don’t want to know i don’t want to know i don’t want to i don’t want to break like this of course like so can you imagine that fell apart you just you i would be like what i believe the lie i i just i don’t accept we’re literally doing that thing though that like when my last public relationship i didn’t know they were like they were like ugh i don’t believe in love anymore how could i ever believe in love when this isn’t a real thing anymore i barely believe in love now that lorax is over but like i got over it it was tough you know it was it was hard it was a tough time but we uh prevailed we did literally did pretty we literally did prevail yeah here we are we have an alex in the pod huh um yeah that is that is just absolutely not an option so the question is what do you think we’d have to do press um shock value wise to get one or both of what’s their ship name ryan and blake rake to get rake on we can do better uh yeah i don’t know i think um we’re going to hope for one of their kids to be a craft nerd right yeah right maybe like 10 seasons of craftopia later and a kid that loves crafts [ __ ] yeah that’s a lot of ifs it’s a lot it’s a lot of things that we need to achieve okay maybe okay who’s second place um i don’t know and this question i feel like in interviews always come through like who’s your favorite celebrity and i’m like i don’t know i don’t talk about celebrity i mean a couple but i don’t i don’t know i don’t know like i just like don’t like i don’t know what and maybe it’s because like we’re in this world kind of but i just like i don’t like we’re like the the nerds on the outside that no one invited but have a seat regardless yeah i don’t know i have no idea i genuinely i’d have to think about it for a very long time would you want to be a nerd with me sitting on the blanket watching the real players play while we’re just sitting there on the sidelines yes absolutely that’s our spot that’s our spot power couple light power couple yep yep pcl yeah pcl power team yeah yeah that’s awesome i think um realistically i think the obamas um power power power power power couple i would be no i’d be true nervous i would never want the obamas on here oh if i’m way too vulgar to have the obamas on here oh really yeah oh i i would i would get ready for that immediately that’s not what i was doing i would just start working on like the material to figure out how we could like try and get something out of that in some positive way you wouldn’t accept that no i would i would just be really stressed out and i’d have to like i’d start like prepping myself to not swear for like a week and in advance so i could start my favorite thing to do is watch lauren when we do anything live just sit there and just [ __ ] throw one swear word out and then she gets nervous and throws another one out and then she gets another one it’s like the moment she i hate realizes like what what are you doing why oh my god i hate christmas at target like you named a brand why like my favorite favorite thing they just i just you just watch it milk so i just want to clarify that christmas at target is literally my favorite time of the year i know that’s why it’s blasphemous um that is blasphemous that is the true definition of blasphemy how many exes did you put in black famous blasphemous oh god yeah that’s how i feel about it that’s all so you wouldn’t rise that occasion i would i would i would we would call swoozie we’d say how the [ __ ] did you do it yeah and then we do it we do it is there is there someone that you think is so um uh on another level you you wouldn’t accept and like you would not allow them to be interviewed because you wouldn’t be able to do it uh yeah a hundred percent like basically 92 of all of hollywood what do you mean really no i don’t know these i don’t know i just like i like when people are talking about celebrities and stuff in like mainstream media like i don’t i just like don’t keep tabs on that stuff like i don’t know who anyone is right so why are you afraid of it what why are you afraid of it then i’m not afraid of it i’m just like i don’t even know who these people are it’s like no like that’s just my default answer oh [ __ ] no i’d have beyonce on are you kidding beyonce and jay-z yeah absolutely okay so if you’re comfortable with the obamas if you would a are you comfortable with like beyonce and jay-z it’s just the unknown like i just like don’t know who this pool of people are that you’re talking about so i’m like okay that’s fair yeah i understand yeah okay this is going to divide the audience i think or maybe not i think it should lauren last night oh i can’t believe we didn’t start with this oh my god in typical wow so wowzle9 fashion we’re getting to the the good stuff near the end yeah we don’t we don’t get started yet i know i know lauren made mention of a thing that i guess used to happen more often than it does now yes but it’s happened multiple times and to the point where she thinks it’s just normal how many of you can relate to when you’re asleep in bed sleeping in your bed the bed you’re always in the one that you live in falling out of it just in the middle of the night just sleeping and then just falling out of bed and then for the people that didn’t say yeah i i thrashed so hard that i fall out of bed i want you to imagine what it would be like sleeping with the person who has a history of falling out of bed i don’t you make it sound like i fall out of bed like once a week i’ve i’ve probably okay so if i’ve lived in this house for almost five years now i’ve probably fallen out of the bed once okay and and the previous beds previous beds um this one’s pretty high so i feel like it doesn’t really happen it’s also the biggest one that i’ve ever had um i don’t know like maybe once every couple of years especially when i’m in the bed that’s like not my own bed you don’t even mean like i’m at a hotel or something it’s just you fall out of hotel beds like your body at some point in time just hits eject and says i don’t want to be here anymore it’s like it’s like i roll over to just like readjust and then i just roll out and so you just wake up on the side of the bed on the like on the floor right no no no you oh you always like wake up in the moment of like especially okay you know when like you’re you told me last night you fell right the [ __ ] out about oh it absolutely phone like straight to the ground right like i’m not saying that that didn’t happen that’s absolutely happening okay and i and do you feel like and i’m i know there’s gonna be people that will come to your age for sure like and say oh i fought a bit too like but just saying it out loud do you feel like you fall out of the bed maybe a little bit more than the average person no okay no so i’m the weird one yes okay i cannot wait to see the comments of people who fall out of beds and like it’s this is like not a thing that happens every week it’s not like it’s not like a a a majorly occurring event it’s like have you fallen out of a bed and most people i think would be like yeah i’ve fallen out of a bed yeah i’ve fallen out of it just not like sleeping like like what do you mean i just i can’t i i don’t remember a time where i just woke up on the ground next to my bed after i found out woken up on the ground but you always like wake up when you’re like slipping off or like when you’re like half off [Music] [Laughter] why are you half off all these beds because i’m slipping off because i’m rolling off listen i need to everyone if you see or hear this i need you to speak your no no like this is not something that is optional to comment about like yeah i like jeremy and i literally last night laying in bed being like what and german was like what and i was like what are you doing no sense to me i did it just i can’t believe you’ve never like slipped out of bed and you know that feeling when you’re um like about to fall asleep and you feel like you you fall oh of course that just like happens you actually fall you actually fall like you just roll over and you just like kind of slip it’s not eject like i’m not like like catapulting out of the bed sometimes on my side of the bed it feels like you’re ejecting it’s just like a it’s just like a like a small slow motion roll and slip slip and roll okay i listen i i’m prepared to be wrong i cannot wait to see the comments because i’m genuinely now so curious yeah i i understand how it could happen i just it that has never been something that i’ve feared because it is not crosstalk maybe maybe because you’re like you’re like large and heavy you don’t slip out as easy you’re six four do you want to be called dainty and nimble i don’t know try it um i don’t know maybe because like you’re really like twig twig like okay all right well anyway i uh i think you forget that i’ve been your size before you’re [ __ ] eight years old like five i don’t know how old i was but it’s funny to think that i was like a ten-year-old at some point yeah at your height no but in grade five like you would have been for sure over five years yeah are we keeping you up uh-huh okay it’s a long day i get it i get it i filmed four tick tocks today a youtube video and now a podcast and now you’re gonna show me a bunch of tiki talks oh yeah i have so many good ones did we already talk about this about how because you don’t watch the tic tacs they send you throughout the day now i just i just like them and i heart them and then at the end of the day we watch them together remy and i covered it last week oh we’re right that’s right yeah yeah i was like this sounds really familiar you feel like yeah yeah yeah you write you write you right i just it is yeah it’s fine yeah um because the best one that i i oh i have a really cute one of a bear eating a watermelon that i i cannot wait yeah it’s going to watch that right in the water plus content yeah plus content um do we have anything fun in store in upcoming weeks um i mean um well that wasn’t the convincing um yeah we have a podcast and we’re gonna do we’re gonna do the podcast no what i was gonna i was gonna do a little shameless self promo because i today as of today i just got the launch dates for season two of craftopia this is a what about the podcast here yeah but this is so exciting i i’m gonna invoice you for an advertisement if you talk about craptopia right now okay so lauren just maybe i might have just killed an embargo or seven we’re gonna try that one more time craftopia is coming out craptopia season two is coming out this fall i wouldn’t even say that no i can say that i’ve been i’ve been saying that everywhere craftovia season two is coming out this fall on hbo so excited hp max and like i’m i so crave in canada picked it up for season one and i’m like do i start tweeting them incessantly to be like hey you so you going by season two how about you promote the podcast what how about you promote the podcast right now well just before you start you know hey craig can you show me sean in canada oh yeah well i want i want vpns are confusing for people and i just want my canadians to be able to watch craftopia and we don’t have it we don’t have anybody’s telling us that we need to be talking about their vpn right now yeah exactly so we got we got no vpn and so no no uh provider that yeah yeah need to plug right now um but yeah no i’m so [ __ ] excited almost a year since we shot the season and it went by so fast and i’m so excited and this episode of the season this season is so much better and you’re gonna die i’m gonna i’m so excited and like you want to follow remy and i’s new podcast you can head over to jeremy what if i had it all lined up it was all like with trademarks were applied for everything was moving i would be a combination of very sad because i feel like i was being cheated on um which we did title last week’s podcast as um but i would also be excited for the content no you’d be excited to hear about what your cut would be yes yeah yes yes i get it yes i get it um i mean i’m excited for some of the potential guests we have lined up yeah well i’m i’m in i’m in some dms i’m in some emails right now and i’m my the amount of uh cold reach out on linkedin from people and publicity and comms that are like hitting me for people to be guests on our podcast really going up the last couple weeks anyone good it seems rude to say no so yeah so yes we’re in talks we’re in talks um yeah we’ll find out the problem is i don’t i think sometimes people don’t realize that our podcast is not a interview uh it’s like fintech crypto business [ __ ] like i think they just assumed that i oh he has a podcast yeah sure it’s about business yeah it’s not about about business we did say um uh your what did you call it again the balance sheet the the the ebitda usually we’re talking about how you have used like a handful of condoms in your entire life or that i’m getting a squishmallow for my birthday right those two things yeah yeah so it’s not really for them no no no i don’t think that’s quite would kind of be funny if we had somebody on who was not prepared for those conversations and like we see if they actually yep show up here come on over whatever like if it wasn’t rude for an individual and it would make like the person who’s like not booking it of course is the one that’s like [ __ ] up not that person if it wouldn’t be wildly rude to that individual i would for sure [ __ ] go down that rabbit hole yes but i would only be punishing someone who is just trying to probably like promote their promote their business yeah ebook exactly their ebook and then we would potentially have a really really bad podcast episode and we’d look like [ __ ] yes yeah yeah so maybe because we would be [ __ ] revisit that no we’re just not gonna do it workshop yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so maybe for the future we’ve got some fire guests coming in hopefully there’s gonna be something that replaces me half the time it’ll be fantastic so for one episode we’ll do asian girl squad yeah and so what if i’m not available to do the tech like what are you guys gonna do not record the podcast got it okay so i’m my attendance is still mandatory yeah what okay okay so we we do record about six steps from where you eat sleep and poop so um [Music] i okay i don’t know why the last one had to be on there eat sleeping poop yeah okay you sleep and pray babe eat sleep and pray yeah eat pray in love you pray love um i’m excited for malibu this weekend oh yeah we’re going to a malibu meal for your um i’m excited to i like did nothing with my family for a week about the cottage and now i’m excited to do nothing with you for a couple days i too am excited to do nothing with me good i love you that is so nice goodbye is that the ending bye guys see you next week [Music]

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